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A Lesson in Resilience


It has been a while since my last post, so I feel like it's time to get back to it! This year has been a difficult start up, which is partly why I haven't written a blog post as of yet. I keep starting a post, and then changing my mind as to whether or not I should post it, and now I'm in the third week of school and have decided I just need to get back to writing - even if it's hard.

 The reason for the difficulty in posting: I am an ESL teacher who also teaches Spanish, and after a week of classes I lost all of my ESL classes and my schedule was changed to entirely Spanish. I am also a Spanish teacher, but ESL is where I really identify myself, and it is where I have been doing a lot of professional learning and growing. It is the area where I have felt passionately about making myself better, and helping my students to acquire language in a safe environment where they can feel comfortable making mistakes; and in an environment where we can build our own little community.

 So, when things got chaotic and my courses were changed, I was angry and sad. It felt personal. 

 But a part of being resilient is to get back on your feet and just go with it - even when it's hard and upsetting. This has been a difficult lesson for me this year, because it isn't easy to just turn off that emotional response. It has me questioning whether or not I am a valued member of the school community, and I still often question where I belong in the school community. It's tough to be excluded from an area of teaching where you have always been very involved, and to find yourself unsure of who you are and what you are doing. But it has also made me ask myself how I can still get involved, even if I am not currently teaching the subject. I could never NOT do ESL, so it means I just have to remind everyone that I'm still here, and I still have knowledge to share and that I want to be a part of the team, even if I am not currently teaching a course in that area.

 So in response to this new challenge, I've found alternative ways to fill my need and passion for ESL. I am finally (and I do mean finally - it has been a while) taking my Teaching English Language Learners Part 2 AQ. I have been meaning to do this for a few years now, but have never really been able to commit to doing it, as there always seems to be something going on. I have also offered to facilitate some board-wide PD for mainstream and/or ESL teachers wanting some strategies to help support their ELLs in the classroom. I'm especially excited for this facilitator opportunity, as it will help me to stay in touch with other contacts in the board that are involved in ESL, and it will keep my skills and ideas current. 

 And one thing I can't ignore or fail to acknowledge is the support I have received from some amazing colleagues. They were there for me when I needed an ear, and they understood that I just needed some space, or I needed to vent, etc. and were always there to help me or to get me out of my head, so to speak. I'm grateful to work in a school where I am surrounded by amazing people who just get it, and who work their butts off on a daily basis to make the school as awesome at it is.

 Needless to say - it has been a very challenging school year so far. It has started to sting a little less, and I really do enjoy teaching Spanish, so I know it will get easier. While it may not have been what I hoped/planned for, I'm already enjoying my students and the new courses, and my fluency has certainly improved!

 I suppose this post is really just a reminder that resilience is difficult, but important in this field. Nothing is set in stone, and being able to flex to where we are needed most is a part of our jobs as educators. 

 Nothing important in life is easy, so hang in there - things do get easier. Whether it be personal or professional, it'll work out for the best, even if you can't see it right away. 






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